The Hurting Inside
by SPARK187
Summary: When Remy finds Rogue lying on floor of her room in a pool of blood, what will happen?


**This is a one shot that just came to me today. It's a darker story, with references to suicide, and the ending is a little bitter sweet. Hope you like it.  
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**The Hurting Inside**

The man as known Remy La Beau, walked through the forest of green trees to the lonely hilltop overlooking the water. That's where he found her. She was sitting all alone, her back to him, but even at this distance he could feel the pain that stirred inside her. He wanted nothing more than to go to her, comfort her hold her, but his mind drifted back. It had been a week since the near fatal incident. She nearly died in his arms that day. The pain he felt in almost losing her still remained.

If it were wounds from a hard battle he could have understand and it may not have hurt him so badly and affected him in such a way, but no matter what the reason it tore at his soul to see her so lifeless and helpless, for she was the woman he loved.

He mind reflected on that day as he watched her sitting there so still and so quiet.

**_Flashback: One week ago_**

_"Hey, Gambit," Kitty Pride came up to him and said. "Have you seen Rogue? We were supposed to go shopping this morning and she bailed."_

_ "Not today," he said. He looked down the hall, the door to her room at the end of it. "I'll go check her room."_

_ "Okay, but tell her she owes me," Kitty said. "That's two shopping trips, and I'm not taking no for an answer."_

_ "Sure, Kitty-Kat," he said, using her nickname. Kitty just shook her head and ran down the stairs._

_ Remy approached the door and called out for Rogue. "Chere, you in dere?" He knocked but there was no response. "Chere, it's me Remy. Jus' want to apologize for our fight last night." Still he got no response. He tried to open the door, but it was locked. "Come on, Chere. Let me in." Still there was dead silence. He got an uneasy feeling and did something he wouldn't normally do. He touched the doorknob, charging it with kinetic energy. He stood back and waited until the explosion dissolved into small sparks and fizzled out. He slid open the door and received the shock of his life._

_ "Chere!" He shouted as looked upon the woman he loved lying in a pool of blood. He quickly shot over to the spot where her body lay lifeless. She was face down on the floor so he checked for a pulse. "You're still alive." He turned her body over and saw a knife fall from her hand. He suddenly saw where the blood was pouring out. It looked like she had slashed her right wrist. He quickly took out a rag he had stuffed in his back pocket, usually used to wipe the sweat off after a Danger Room session and playing football or basketball with the younger kids. He tried hard to stop the bleeding, but Rogue's pulse was already weak and her breathing shallow. _

_ He quickly picked her up and carried her out of the room. Blood droppings followed as he raced down the stairs and through the hallways to the lower level that housed the infirmary. He laid her down on one of the exam tables and then hit the com._

_ "Hank!" he yelled into the intercom. "Get you blue ass down to de infirmary."_

_ "Gambit?" he heard hank voice on the other end. "Is there a problem?"_

_ "It's Rogue. She's hurt bad," Remy said, trying to be calm._

_ "I'll be right there," Remy heard Hank's voice through the com._

_ Remy raced back over to Rogue's side. "Chere, why you do dis?" he asked gently stroking her hair. He looked down at the rag he wrapped her wrist in. It was soaked clean through with her blood. He fished the drawers for supplies, a first aid kit, something. He wasn't going to stand by and watch her die. He found a box with gauze and bandages. Discarding the rag he did what he could to stop the bleeding. _

_ It had slowed a little, but it was still coming out at the steady pace. "Chere, you listen t'Remy. Don't y't'ink a leavin' me."_

_ He looked up when he heard the door swing open. He saw Hank come in with Logan trailing behind him. Remy saw the horrified look on Logan's face. The two had never gotten along, especially where Rogue was concerned._

_ "What the hell happened, Cajun?" Logan shouted, grabbing him and slamming him up against the wall._

_ Hank, who was more concerned about Rogue's condition, shouted, "Logan, stop it this instant." He turned to the girl lying on the table unconscious. The wound on her wrist was still bleeding. Hank readied his supplies took a strip of clean gauze and wrapped it over Rogue wrist. "I need the assistance from one of you."_

_ Logan had let go of Remy long enough to look over at Hank. Keep pressure on her wrist. We have to stop the bleeding. Logan took to the task, doing what Hank asked. He glared at Remy with contempt in his eyes. "How'd this happen?"_

_ "Don't know, Homme, just found her like dat. Went to her room, but no answer. So I let myself and she lyin' on de floor. Had a knife in her hand. Remy only try t'help."_

_ "She did this to herself?" Logan questioned. _

_ Hank had come back over this some med supplies, hoping to stop the bleeding. He took over, all the while wearing protective gloves. Logan was still glaring at Remy, not fully buying his story._

_ "Why would she do this?" Logan asked, trying to be calm, but his anger was getting the better of him. "What did you do to her?"_

_ "Logan, stop it now, or I'll ask you kindly to leave," Hank said as he dressed Rogue's wound. "I got the bleeding stopped, but she's not out of the woods yet."_

_ "She gonna be okay? Remy asked. _

_ "I'm not sure," Hank said, as he was checking her vitals. "She's very weak and lost a lot of blood. She may need a transfusion."_

_ "Don't let her die," Remy pleaded. _

_ Hank walked over to one of the inner doors and walked through. Remy hovered over Rogue, gently stroking her hair. "Hang in dere, chere. Everyt'ing be alright."_

_ Still she remained unconscious. A tear escaped Remy's eye, seeing her slipping away like this. He looked over at Logan, who looked just as concerned. "She's gonna make it. She's a fighter."_

_ Remy didn't say anything, because by that time Hank had come back into the room. He rolled in a monitor and a vial of blood. "It's a good thing we all take blood samples on a regular bases, especially with Rogue blood type being so rare." He then gave her the transfusion and hooked her up to the monitor. "Now, the rest is up to her."_

_ "Can I stay wid her?" Remy asked._

_ "If you wish, but there's no telling when she'll wake up."_

_ "Don' matter," Remy said. "I ain't leavin' her, 'til I know she be okay."_

_ "Very well," Hank said. "Logan, I think we should tell the Professor about what's going on?"_

_ "Sure, Hank," Logan said. "Hey, Cajun." Remy looked up at Logan. "Take care of her."_

_ Remy stayed by her side all night, but she never once stirred. The monitors would have drove him crazy, but they were there as a reminder that she was still alive. He eventually fell asleep at her bedside, holding her hand. He wore gloves guarding himself from her powers. Sometime in the middle of the night, Logan had come in the room. Remy was partly asleep, but awake enough to heed the older man's presence. Rogue looked even weaker and paler than when Remy first brought her in. _

_ "Hey, kid," Logan said in a quieted voice. "Don't know why you did this, but I ain't gonna let you die." He walked over to the other side of her bed and put his bare hand on her arm, his skin touching her skin. He started to feel weak. The wound on her wrist rapidly closed up. He was dazed but still on his feet when he let go. He staggered out of the infirmary looking like he had a few too many drinks._

_ At that moment Remy lifted his head. Wiping the sleep from his eyes, he looked upon Rogue's face. How beautiful she was. She was no longer as pale, and he looked down at the wound on her wrist. He unraveled the bandage and saw that it had completely healed._

_ He looked back at the door. "T'anks, Logan," Remy said, then looked back at Rogue. Her eyes were starting to open. He brushed his gloved hand across her cheek. She moaned in protest, trying to swipe his hand away, but she was too weak to make the effort. "Easy, dere," he said. "Jus' rest."_

_ She fell back asleep, a state she remained in for the rest of the night._

_ The next morning was chaos as Remy heard multiple voices outside the infirmary. Hank's voice was the loudest in his efforts to calm the crowd. "Listen, everyone. It's not a good idea for Rogue to have visitors right now. She's still weak and needs rest, so please go about your day and I will inform you when you can see her."_

_ "See, there, Petite," Remy said gently stroking her hair. "Got everybody worried. You wanted attention dere's better ways to goin' 'bout it."_

_ Rogue opened her eyes at that moment and looked into Remy eyes. She looked so disoriented and confused. "What?" was all she could say. She tried lifting herself out of bed, but she was too weak. _

_ "Calm down, Chere," he said, trying to get her to lie back down. _

_ "No, let go of me," she said, trying to struggle. Her breathing became heavy as she struggled for air. She was clearly upset, and Remy tried to calm her down. _

_ "Lay still. You gonna hurt yourself."_

_ "Go away," she cried. "Just let me die in peace."_

_ "No," Remy shouted which got her attention. He put his hands on either side of her face. "Remy never let you die. You die, he dies."_

_ Tears weld up in her eyes as he put his arms around her and held her. He tried to sooth her with his touch, but she pulled away from him and turned her back to him._

_ Hank walked in and saw Remy standing by Rogue's bedside. "How's our patient?" Rogue didn't make a move, but Hank could see by the concerned look on Remy's face that it wasn't good. "Rogue, how are you feeling?" Hank asked in a gentle voice._

_ She turned over and looked Hank straight in the eye. "Lousy, so please leave me alone."_

_ "Rogue, please, can you tell us what happened?" Hank asked, coming closer to her bedside. She wouldn't say anything. Hank stepped over to Remy and quietly said, "I need to examine her, so could you step outside for a moment."_

_ Remy wanted to protest, but Hank waved a figure at him as if he were a naughty child. He was going to try and find out the reasons for Rogue's actions. Remy did as Hank asked and stepped outside. He waited out in the hall for what felt like an eternity until Hank came out._

_ "How is she?" Remy asked._

_ "She's recovering, but she doesn't want to talk about what happened," Hank said. "She's in a lot of pain, Remy. Not physically but emotionally. Sometimes that can be more damaging."_

_ "What do I do?" Remy asked._

_ "Just give her time, and be there for her when she needs you."_

_ "Whatever she wants," Remy said._

_ "But right now, my friend, I think you should get some breakfast, before you become my next patient." Remy opened his mouth in the attempts of a protest, but Hank spoke up before he had a chance. "Doctor's orders."_

_ He walked down the hallway with Remy, but only after a few paces did they run in Professor Xavier. "Oh, Hank," he said, looking up at him. "How's Rogue this morning?"_

_ "In a fragile state, I'm afraid," Hank said. "After everything she's been through…"_

_ "I understand," the professor said. "I still need to speak with her."_

_ "Be gentle," Hank said. _

_ The Professor nodded in agreement and proceeded to the infirmary._

**_End of Flashback_**

Remy's thoughts reflected on that day, trying to make sense of it all. Rogue was sitting there on that hill, looking as beautiful as ever but sad and out of sorts. He didn't like seeing her that way, and only wanted to help her. It had been days since she had spoken to him. She had been avoiding him, but he was determined to put an end to all that. He approached her cautiously, making little sound.

He saw her tense up as he stopped, standing only a few inches from her. "Ah know it's you, Remy," she said, keeping her back to him.

He squatted down to sit on the ground next to her. "Rogue, please, look at me." She remained in her position until he tried to take her hand, but she snatched it away before he could touch her. "Don' do dis, Chere. Don' push me away."

She put her head in her hands and was outwardly crying. "Please, don't, Remy." He put his hand gently on her back, messaging it gently. "How can you stand to'be near me, after what ah did."

"'Cause Remy loves you," he said, forcing her to turn her hand and look at him. "Why? Dat's all Remy want t'know. Why you wanna leave him?"

"Ya know why," she said. There was a hurt look on Remy's face. "Please, don't look at me like that." She turned away as the tears ran down her face once again. He came closer to her wrapping his arms around her." Don't," she started to protest.

He was unrelenting and held her tighter. "You need someone t'hold you right now." She stopped fighting him for a time and just lay back in his arms. He stroked her hair and whispered in her ear that things would get better. After she had calmed down some, he asked," Why'd you do it, Rogue?"

She looked up at him, a sadness in her eyes. "Because ah just couldn't take it anymore." Remy looked confused. "There's things ah haven't told ya. Things goin' on inside mah head. Ah just wanted it t'stop."

"What you mean?" he asked.

"That day, when I woke up in the infirmary and ah saw ya sitting next t'me. Part a' me was so happy ah didn't die, but part a me was so ashamed that I wish ah had."

"Don' say dat, Chere. Never been so scared in all my life, seein' you lying on dat floor, blood everywhere. Remy wanted t'die. What I do wid out my Rogue,"

"Ah'm sorry. Ah didn't mean t'hurt ya," she said, hugging her knees to her chest. "Ah just couldn't take it anymore. The voices in mah head. They never let me sleep at night. I just wanted it t'stop."

"Dat day when da Professor talk to you. Did it help?"

"Yeah, I got sessions with him everyday now."

"What he say dat day?" Remy asked. Rogue went silent again. "Come on, Chere. Please tell me."

Rogue thought back to that day. Her mind was a tortured mess with memories not her own. She thought she would go insane having to live with it another day, but Remy had saved her life, saved her from herself. She felt she owed him the truth.

**_Flashback_**

_ Rogue lay back on her bed after Hank had left the room. She wondered why she was still alive. Hank had informed her that Remy had found her and saved her life with his quick thinking. Why did he have to find her? Just a little while longer and it would all have been over. She could hear the voices in her head, scolding her, mocking her, laughing at her. She tried to keep them at bay for as long as she could, but it was becoming too much. She received not one moment's peace. She thought the only way to stop it was to end it, to end her. _

_ She didn't count on Remy saving her. Usually she was the one saving him. She wanted to hate him for making her live, prolonging her agony, but she couldn't. Looking into his eyes as she awakened, she realized how much he loved her and how much she loved him. The realization of that didn't lessen the chaos that was going on in her mind. _

_ She lay there hoping something would happen, anything that could lessen the mental pain she felt. "Rogue," she heard someone call her name. Instinctively she knew it was Professor Xavier. His voice was gentle but still commanding. She turned her head to see him slowing wheeling himself towards her bedside. "How are you feeling?"_

_ She just shook her head and turned away from him. "Please, go away," she choked out._

_ "Rogue, please, I just want to help you," he said. She felt him touch her shoulder, a warm peaceful feeling coming over her. "Can you tell me what going on? Why did you hurt yourself?"_

_ "I don't want to talk about it," she cried. "I just want to be left alone." Suddenly she held her hands to either side of her head. "Why won't they leave me alone?" The jumbled voices of all the absorbed psyches were screaming at her all at once. "Stop it!" she screamed. Suddenly there was silence._

_ She looked over at the professor. "I know what it's like, Rogue," he said in her mind. "All those voices in your head all talking at once. You'll learn to control them, drown them out. I'll help you if you let me."_

_ She nodded unable to speak. "Rest, now." She closed her eyes and fell back asleep._

**_End of Flashback_**

"So ah've been working with the professor everyday," she said. "It's hard, but ah'm doin' better. Don't hear them as much, but ah know they're still there."

"Den why you been avoiding me?" Remy asked.

She hesitated for a moment. "'Cause ah was ashamed," she said. She started to cry again, but retained some composure. "Ah'm so sorry, Remy."

"S'okay, Chere," he said, putting his arm around her. We're together. Dat all dat matters." She looked up at him and half smiled. "Just promise Remy one t'ing."

"Anythin'?" she said, touching his face with her gloved hand.

"Don't never do not'ing like dat again."

She looked deep into his eyes, seeing all the love he had for her. "I promise." She rose to her knees and threw her arms around him holding onto him tight. She felt the warmth of his arms on her back, and felt truly safe and loved.

After a while they both rose to their feet and walked back towards the Institute. They held hands and looked at each other and smiled as they returned to the place they called home. Neither knew what the future would bring, but whatever happened they would face it together.

**Okay, that's the end. Please review and tell me what you think.**


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